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Lacuna (10th Anniversary Mix)

by Caravels

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1.
There’s a gap I slip between
Where most things pass with ease Through the mesh of webs that are Still haunting my head There’s a lot of you or me That I’ve had to reconstruct From bits of other memories Neither of us were part of I bent a fiction, dulled it’s edge I bent a fiction, dulled it’s edge Repurposed it, joined both ends Now a certain shape is slotted in it’s place (Now I can’t tell the difference)
 Before it had an ugly history (What was said, what was meant)
 I scrubbed it raw and shined it through (Now I can’t tell the difference) Before it had an ugly history
 (What was said, what was meant)
 I scrubbed it raw and shined it through You can have my lessons learned
 Tired hopes, tired dreams
 All of this it never happened
 Blurry hopes, blurry dreams
 Have to write it down, have to spell it out Tired hopes, tired dreams All of this it never happened Blurry hopes, blurry dreams
2.
I tried to say I’m a bit concerned With all that you see in black and white When you were fairly occupied With fairy tales and the undefined I tried to say I’m a bit concerned With all that you see in black and white You want to lay around And do nothing at all But I don’t think You’ve slept in weeks You can’t help but Romanticize the past I couldn’t hear you across the room I was lost in waves and white noise You weren’t able To sink yourself in So I haven’t Earthed myself You said it wasn’t what you planned But you came out a better man You thought I might have split in two That I came close Pressed against the window
3.
Just the other day I read
 That god’s the sun and it’s such an awful shame We never saw it until now
 We never could look straight Just the other day I read
 That I’m the only person I truly think about I never saw it until now
 I never could look straight I couldn’t see the space between Where you stand and where you’ll be We can divide the distance in two My proximity can be halved to you We can divide the distance in two My proximity can be halved to you What you see is intricate
 It coils and it nests inside
 We are just some passerbys Some background filler indistinct I won’t suffer, no, not like he did
 I won’t hang myself with another wish But alone I sit atop my throne With a kingdom the size of a skull Such a lonely place to lay and wait Forever mine and mine alone I wont suffer, no, not like he did
 I won’t hang myself with another wish
4.
5.
I haven’t left the house
 In a hundred days
 I saw you peek through the door Pry it open some more
 You said it’s been a hundred years Since we last spoke
 You can feel for my pulse
 If it proves I’m not a ghost Most nights I try not
 To drink myself to sleep Convince the clocks I still Need more time to think But every sip-sip-sip’s Another tick-tick-tick And I’m not done yet
 I’ve half a bottle left
 We can stay out late and Hope to god it’s okay
 We can stay out late and Hope to god it’s okay
 We can fall and still land On our feet we’re okay We can stay out late and Hope to god it’s okay I still tell myself
 I can tell the difference I still tell myself
 I can tell the difference Rid the night of the dark Strip the light from the day Rid the night of the dark Strip the light from the day But right here, right now, I know
 I should just let it go
 So tonight I dim off the lights, look up Draw dumb pictures on the ceiling
6.
7.
I saw your mouth start to move Shape the words I feel you
 See things that don’t exist
 See they never did and never will Like all your friends outside They’re still alive, Where were you? I saw your mouth start to move Shape the words I feel you
 See things that don’t exist
 See they never did and never will Like all the times you said Could count on you, Where were you? You were hanging off
 Over the edge of this shitty town
 If it wasn’t hot enough it sure is now Maybe we can dust off the brooms Maybe we can sweep ourselves out We can lay around doing nothing at all or
 We can drive around while everyone’s asleep
 We can lay around doing nothing at all or
 We can climb to the roofbring something to drink I tried to tell you across the room
 I feel just like my dad when I stand like this Military straight with my knees braced
 I was someone else for a bit But you had already jumped from the window I pictured you falling tumbling down
 I wasn’t sure then and I’m sure not now
 That what I see is what everyone sees That what I see is what everyone sees That what I see is what everyone sees
8.
The bits and pieces strewn about The bleached receipts, my parent’s house Stub my toe on a cabinet
 They thrifted from town The mess of things we’ve left to do The coffee stains, the local news Your grandfather was partial
 To the same type of shoes The bits and pieces strewn about Flux of seasons, my parent’s house Down the drain I see more hair’s Been falling out There’s more thinning now Is that my brother’s blood coursing through my veins When I try to take apart piece back everything Or the way I still need to take drugs to fall asleep Is that my father’s pride or my father’s shame A heavy enough hook where I can hang my name Or the way I still need to take drugs to step outside I think I’m just like you
 I’m born and stretch into The hand-me-down portraits Relatives I’ve never met Do you still talk in your sleep When you think no one’s listening Do you still talk in your sleep When you think no one’s listening I’d still like to think that there’s Parts of me I casted myself
 Do you still talk in your sleep When you think no one’s listening
9.
We’re set to crest and fall Plateau another day
 I still remind myself
 There no such thing as fate Then all at once it was halcyon
 Then arrived the stubbornness of life Then all at once it was halcyon
 And nothing remained for a very long time It was too short and too free
 I still cherish wholly
 You and I and our ordinary lives
10.
Here she can be still, rest her eyes
 The same way she’s done a thousand times She can lose herself to her head
 And count the sheep, count to ten She knows how restless she can be About the creaking floors
 That chime all night relentlessly Reminding her the day is done The knots and loops we tie at night To free ourselves at morning light I never want to wait again Terminal, I’m at a loss
 I never want to wait again Not a second, not to pause Our best attempt to guard against Slowly creeping pass of time
 Now a fleeting delusion of mine But I tried To slow it all to a glacial pace To numb it all, stay comatose To slow it all to a glacial pace But I tried, but I tried You’re a fool if you honestly think
 You have say in what you believe
 You’re set in stone, you’re skin and bones And you’re all you’ll ever be As we wake up different people each day
 I still can’t figure out what has changed
 You said “you were wrong to look for that in me,
 You asked of me something that I could never be”
 And the bitterness, it pools and drowns out my thoughts When I’m aching for a second, just to pause
 When every spark of inspiration is second-best
 You wrote to me, “life is still beautiful nonetheless”

about

Motivated by a recent mention in Brooklyn Vegan and the idea of giving new life to a mostly forgotten project, defunct Las Vegas group Caravels decided in early 2023 that their emotional, gripping debut LP Lacuna was worthy of a re-mix and re-master. Since 2013, the album has organically built up a cult classic status and has been considered a lost gem amongst close followers of the ever-evolving hardcore scene. The heart pounding rhythm section, sharp-cornered guitar riffs, and vocalist Mike Roeslein's brutally gorgeous scream-vocals still sound completely exhilarating ten years later.

The band also enlisted Great Grandpa's Dylan Hanwright to mix the album anew, resulting in a vastly cleaner, meatier mix that brings justice to the influential material played in basements across North America to emo revival fans in the early 2010s.

credits

released December 12, 2023

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Caravels Las Vegas, Nevada

Five friends from the city that made National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation a reality.

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