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Lacuna

by Caravels

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1.
Lacuna 02:48
There’s a gap I slip between Where most things pass with ease Through the mesh of webs that are Still haunting my head There’s a lot of you or me That I’ve had to reconstruct From bits of other memories Neither of us were part of I bent a fiction, dulled it’s edge I bent a fiction, dulled it’s edge Repurposed it, joined both ends Now a certain shape is slotted in it’s place (Now I can’t tell the difference) Before it had an ugly history (What was said, what was meant) I scrubbed it raw and shined it through (Now I can’t tell the difference) Before it had an ugly history (What was said, what was meant) I scrubbed it raw and shined it through You can have my lessons learned Tired hopes, tired dreams All of this it never happened Blurry hopes, blurry dreams Have to write it down, have to spell it out Tired hopes, tired dreams All of this it never happened Blurry hopes, blurry dreams
2.
Tangled 03:42
I tried to say I’m a bit concerned With all that you see in black and white When you were fairly occupied With fairy tales and the undefined I tried to say I’m a bit concerned With all that you see in black and white You want to lay around And do nothing at all But I don’t think You’ve slept in weeks You can’t help but Romanticize the past I couldn’t hear you across the room I was lost in waves and white noise You weren’t able To sink yourself in So I haven’t Earthed myself You said it wasn’t what you planned But you came out a better man You thought I might have split in two That I came close Pressed against the window
3.
Just the other day I read That god’s the sun and it’s such an awful shame We never saw it until now We never could look straight Just the other day I read That I’m the only person I truly think about I never saw it until now I never could look straight I couldn’t see the space between Where you stand and where you’ll be We can divide the distance in two My proximity can be halved to you We can divide the distance in two My proximity can be halved to you What you see is intricate It coils and it nests inside We are just some passerbys Some background filler indistinct I won’t suffer, no, not like he did I won’t hang myself with another wish But alone I sit atop my throne With a kingdom the size of a skull Such a lonely place to lay and wait Forever mine and mine alone I wont suffer, no, not like he did I won’t hang myself with another wish
4.
New Zealand 03:47
5.
I haven’t left the house In a hundred days I saw you peek through the door Pry it open some more You said it’s been a hundred years Since we last spoke You can feel for my pulse If it proves I’m not a ghost Most nights I try not To drink myself to sleep Convince the clocks I still Need more time to think But every sip-sip-sip’s Another tick-tick-tick And I’m not done yet I’ve half a bottle left We can stay out late and Hope to god it’s okay We can stay out late and Hope to god it’s okay We can fall and still land On our feet we’re okay We can stay out late and Hope to god it’s okay I still tell myself I can tell the difference I still tell myself I can tell the difference Rid the night of the dark Strip the light from the day Rid the night of the dark Strip the light from the day But right here, right now, I know I should just let it go So tonight I dim off the lights, look up Draw dumb pictures on the ceiling
6.
Twin 00:40
7.
Hanging Off 03:35
I saw your mouth start to move Shape the words I feel you See things that don’t exist See they never did and never will Like all your friends outside They’re still alive, Where were you? I saw your mouth start to move Shape the words I feel you See things that don’t exist See they never did and never will Like all the times you said Could count on you, Where were you? You were hanging off Over the edge of this shitty town If it wasn’t hot enough it sure is now Maybe we can dust off the brooms Maybe we can sweep ourselves out We can lay around doing nothing at all or We can drive around while everyone’s asleep We can lay around doing nothing at all or We can climb to the roofbring something to drink I tried to tell you across the room I feel just like my dad when I stand like this Military straight with my knees braced I was someone else for a bit But you had already jumped from the window I pictured you falling tumbling down I wasn’t sure then and I’m sure not now That what I see is what everyone sees That what I see is what everyone sees That what I see is what everyone sees
8.
Sleep Talk 04:03
The bits and pieces strewn about The bleached receipts, my parent’s house Stub my toe on a cabinet They thrifted from town The mess of things we’ve left to do The coffee stains, the local news Your grandfather was partial To the same type of shoes The bits and pieces strewn about Flux of seasons, my parent’s house Down the drain I see more hair’s Been falling out There’s more thinning now Is that my brother’s blood coursing through my veins When I try to take apart piece back everything Or the way I still need to take drugs to fall asleep Is that my father’s pride or my father’s shame A heavy enough hook where I can hang my name Or the way I still need to take drugs to step outside I think I’m just like you I’m born and stretch into The hand-me-down portraits Relatives I’ve never met Do you still talk in your sleep When you think no one’s listening Do you still talk in your sleep When you think no one’s listening I’d still like to think that there’s Parts of me I casted myself Do you still talk in your sleep When you think no one’s listening
9.
We’re set to crest and fall Plateau another day I still remind myself There no such thing as fate Then all at once it was halcyon Then arrived the stubbornness of life Then all at once it was halcyon And nothing remained for a very long time It was too short and too free I still cherish wholly You and I and our ordinary lives
10.
Dog Days 05:11
Here she can be still, rest her eyes The same way she’s done a thousand times She can lose herself to her head And count the sheep, count to ten She knows how restless she can be About the creaking floors That chime all night relentlessly Reminding her the day is done The knots and loops we tie at night To free ourselves at morning light I never want to wait again Terminal, I’m at a loss I never want to wait again Not a second, not to pause Our best attempt to guard against Slowly creeping pass of time Now a fleeting delusion of mine But I tried To slow it all to a glacial pace To numb it all, stay comatose To slow it all to a glacial pace But I tried, but I tried You’re a fool if you honestly think You have say in what you believe You’re set in stone, you’re skin and bones And you’re all you’ll ever be As we wake up different people each day I still can’t figure out what has changed You said “you were wrong to look for that in me, You asked of me something that I could never be” And the bitterness, it pools and drowns out my thoughts When I’m aching for a second, just to pause When every spark of inspiration is second-best You wrote to me, “life is still beautiful nonetheless”

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released April 2, 2013

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Caravels Las Vegas, Nevada

Five friends from the city that made National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation a reality.

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